“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.” Psalm 139:14
This verse keeps shouting at me in a loud whisper: believe! Know it’s true.
I don’t know if this ever happens to you like it does to me, but have you ever disliked a part of yourself and forgotten that you are actually fearfully and wonderfully made?
For a good deal of my life, I’ve not understood a particular driving force within my being. I have a deep desire to take things that are not quite right and turn them into beautiful, efficiently functioning things. This means I see the broken parts of systems and habits and usually ways to “fix” them, but sometimes that comes across as negativity.
I’m not trying to be negative – inside my heart, I only want to make things better!
If I’m being honest with myself, I’ve unconsciously loathed that part of me. I’ve found it difficult to celebrate a character trait that seems to make others so uncomfortable and sometimes leads to rejection.
But I’ve come to grips with this part of myself and realized that the need to reform and improve is a part of God’s personality. He put that driving force inside of me because it’s needed in the realm of my earthly life. And while I’m at it, it’s probably something that will be necessary for the realm of my eternal life.
I’m very confident you’ve experienced the same thing to some degree. You have a driving force within you to do certain things. Maybe you’ve felt misunderstood, rejected, and underappreciated. I’m not saying you’re perfect, because none of us are, but I’m talking about the essence of you being made in God’s image. Rather than loathing that part of you, submit it to the Father and realize He gave it to you for a reason.
I have a hunch that as you and I accept these parts of ourselves more and more, others will too. I also think that if they don’t, we will be o.k. because in the process, we’ll become more confident than ever that He is in love with us and is very happy with how He created us.
Just as all revelations are tested, this one will go through testing. You will face those who don’t understand the gift or don’t want to receive it. They don’t know what to do with it. When faced with those tests, you have to be confident and sure of God’s love and how He sees you. You’re a joy to Him, and He always sees you the way He sees you – not how you or others view you. You might see yourself as a failure, but God NEVER does.
Now that I’ve decided to embrace this part of myself, I have a feeling there will be greater clarity, direction, and open doors in front of me. I’ll work on ways to present ideas positively, knowing that most people are already resistant to change so they automatically want to reject anything that will require additional work. Improving takes effort! But I can be aware of how my need to reform affects others, and I can be more creative and pleasant in my presentation of “updates.” 😉
Botton line: The more I believe I’m fearfully and wonderfully made, the more I will love myself and in turn be able to love others! Father God, let it be done according to Your will!